ESFJ: Or, why it's always so difficult for me to make decisions

This describes in perfect detail the feelings I have when I make a decision. Not even simply while I'm making a decision, but also while after it. For example, is SCU really the right fit for me, even now, after I've been here for a while already? Or does somewhere else still better fit my personality?

ESFJ. ESFJ. Could I really be an ESFJ? Me? Really?

I was initially shocked to discover that my MBTI had labeled me an ESFJ (Extraversion, Sensing, Feeling, Judgment). I had taken the test in high school, and I expected to either again be marked as an ESTJ (Extraversion, Sensing, Thinking, Judgment) or be thrown into something entirely different, like Introversion, for which my association is not high. Alas, such a similar-but-not-similar characterization aroused surprise.

But the thing is, the more I reflected on the idea of ESFJ, the more the category seemed to fit. I do, indeed, take pleasure in the happiness of others. I trust the literal and concrete information gathered by the senses. I take a genuine interest in the well-beings of my friends and family, as well as others. I am vocal about  my sense of right and wrong, but I want to understand varying points of view. My values tend to be based on the good of the social group rather than so much the good of the individual. I like a sense of structure, and I try to create it wherever I can.

These are all great qualities, and ones that I believe describe me well.

But wait, hold on a second...my association with "Feeling" over "Thinking" is only a one-point association? Maybe I am an ESTJ after all! Well, let's see...what do "Thinking" people prefer?

It turns out that they decide things from a more detached standpoint, using reason and logic to make informed decisions. This in contrast to those who prefer "Feeling," who tend to come to decisions by empathizing with the situation and looking from the inside for ways to achieve the greatest harmony and fit. 

Well, okay, those make sense. But I still don't really know for sure which one fits me better. How do I make decisions, when I muster up the courage to make them? How did I decide on Santa Clara University, for example?

I was down to three schools: Loyola Marymount University, Santa Clara University, and Seattle University. Each was competing for the top spot on my list, and in reality, I'm reasonably certain that I would have been just as happy at either Loyola Marymount or Seattle University as I am at Santa Clara, had I made that choice. So what made me choose Santa Clara University?

I think of how I felt when I first walked onto campus. Totally and completely overwhelmed. I didn't know what to think, and while my friend who was attending the school did a great job of answering my questions, it seemed so surreal to me. That was, until I visited a class. It just seemed right. The student-teacher interaction, for sure, but also the student-student interaction. It seemed so scholarly, so sincere, so respectful. Everyone was there to learn, at least for the duration of the class. And learn they did. 

Then there were the non-"feeling" factors. The fact that I wanted a school that had a more enclosed campus, something which Seattle University just didn't offer, although it had different strengths. The fact that I wanted to be within easy access of a city (little did I realize that while Caltrain is readily accessible, it's also a way-too-expensive hassle) without being directly in the middle of it. The fact that I wanted a more academically rigorous education, and that Santa Clara was at the top of my list academically (well, besides the schools to which I was waitlisted, but that's beside the point). The fact that I wanted employability after graduation, although decidedly not in this area. The fact that I wanted a school with an excellent campus with excellent facilities, something which, with the newer library and dorms on the east side of campus, a remodeled Benson, the Locatelli Center and Lucas Hall, Santa Clara simply provides. The fact that I wanted a strong alumni network with a nationwide presence. The fact that I wanted a quarter-system school so that I would be able to take more classes and explore my passions.

When I made my decision, Santa Clara University was the right fit for me. But if I had made that decision knowing what I now know, I can't say for sure whether I would have made the same one. That would be the same no matter the school. I guess you could say that I have a tendency to second-guess my decisions. Now I think I know why. I second-guess decisions, I take a long time to make decisions, I feel unconfident in my decisions because I am so close to the middle of the Feeling-Thinking line. My decisions are influenced by simply too many factors, and that causes indecisiveness.

(EDIT: I don't want anyone to construe this as me second-guessing my decision to attend Santa Clara University; I am proudly a Bronco, and know that I made the correct decision for me. My point is that my tendency to second-guess decisions, even after the fact, leads to challenges that I would have no matter which University I were attending.)

So here's my conclusion to this argument, and the point that I'm trying to make.

The MBTI isn't perfect, and it doesn't work for everyone. Especially for people with weak associations toward any type. I may technically be an ESFJ, but I exhibit just as many qualities of ESTJ as I do ESFJ. By knowing that, I can better understand my leadership styles as well as my personality. I can reign in the indecisiveness and make an effort to understand that such indecisiveness is just my personality. I'd argue that all people should do the same. Take a look at your MBTI. Is there any aspect that shows a weak inclination? Reflect on that weak inclination. Do you show associations toward both ends of the spectrum?

If so, you may be like me. Not exactly associable, according to the MBTI, but still very much a part of society. Take a look; you may be surprised. I know that I was.